How to use an open book to open a conversation
Friday, October 12, 2007 - posted by hellomynameisscott at 6:32 AM
Looking for a GREAT way to start a conversation with a stranger?(Without talking about the weather, traffic or the long line you’re stuck in?)
Try making a reference to the book they’re reading.
It’s easy. It’s approachable. And it’s a great way to discover the Common Point of Interest.
NOTE: before you do this, remember a few ground rules:
1. If the book addresses a controversial, dangerous or potentially awkward topic, don’t do it. This could backfire BIG time. (Especially books like The Kama Sutra and 101 Ways to Murder Complete Strangers on Airplanes.)
2. As with any approach to a stranger, first take note of the person’s posture and non-verbals. If she doesn’t look receptive to casual conversation, don’t bother her. People’s personal bubbles deserve respect. Waiting until the reader takes a break is usually a good time to jump in. That way you’re not interrupting.
OK! Now that you’ve decided to say hi, here are six ways to use an open book to open conversation:
1. How do you like The Da Vinci Code so far? A positively framed, open-ended question. Gives people permission to open up.
2. I’ve heard that book is great! What do you think? Also positive AND compliments their taste.
3. You’re lucky to be reading that book; I just finished it and could read it again! Excites them about their book.
4. Excuse me; I was actually thinking about buying that book. Would you recommend it? Appeals to a human being’s inherent helpful nature. What’s more, it’s kind of hard to get shut down with this approach.
5. So, what’s the best thing you learned from that book so far? Good for non-fiction and business books.
6. Don’t you just love Norman Vincent Peale? Who doesn’t?
LET ME ASK YA THIS...
How do you use open books to open conversations?
LET ME SUGGEST THIS...
Try one of these today!
* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
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Labels: conversation, stick yourself out there, totally random stuff
This is a great post and would be helpful if the majority of people actually read something other than tabloid trash or just browsed their iPods endlessly.
I always carry a book to interviews. I feel it quite soothing to read a book rather than get anguished worried about whether I answered that question on data structures correctly or not. Plus it breaks the ice with the interviewer if she happens to notice the book and ask about it.
Books are great content for any business conversation. Many professionals read the popular books so if you keep up, you will have something in common and to talk about. I always make sure that I am reading a book at all times as well as business magazines. You never know when the conversation may come up about a book so it is good ammo to have.
That's big book, do you study law?
She didn't, but told me all about her management dissertation.
Someone did this to me the other day when I was going home on the tube (I live in London where this kind of thing is more or less unheard of) so to give the recipient's perspective this is quite a good opener.
In this case the person in question was actually challenging the content of the book I was reading (The Last Word on Power by Tracy Goss). Once we got over this unorthodox opener we had a pretty good conversation.
Thanks Scott, I'll try this out sometime.
I learned this from Greg Brady. Just be careful not to grab the book from their hand as you may rip the pages (poor Greg).
What an excellent networking tip! I esp. like that your example questions are all open ended - which encourage listening on our part, and meaningful sharing on theirs.
I also love your #4 - I've tried it in restaurants, for example asking folks leaving while I'm entering ("How did you like it? What did you order?") or when I see a great-looking plate being served. Following your #2 is crucial, though. But it gives people a chance to show what they know. Plus who can resist "Wow - the dish your ordered looks fantastic - what is it?"
I was in a small restaurant in Cocoa Beach doing some work, and I saw a yummy looking beer being served. The couple was clearly having a great time, so I walked over and asked what it was. He told me, then two minutes later sent the same drink over to me, gratis. Wow! :-)